Friends and Family

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome To Holland".

"Holland?!?" you say, "What do you mean "Holland"??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned".

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.

© 1987, by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission of the author.

Our trip through Holland will not be a lonely one. Not only are we learning about Down syndrome but so many others are in support of Gabe, Gabriel and me are learning as well. We have had so much love and support. Many people have stepped up to assist us in our times of need. Many people are praying for Gabriel's fast recovery from his upcoming surgery. We know that we will not be alone at the hospital or at home during Gabriel's surgery and recovery. As many of you have seen from Gabe and Gabriel's Kisses movie, Gabriel is a complete joy. He is a happy little man. We many have had a trip planned for Italy but Holland is becoming quite the fun adventure. We are enjoying every moment. We are taking everything in one moment at a time. Thank you everyone for your time, prayers, love and help! You each mean so much to our little family!

Back to work

Well, after having two amazing weeks off of work to be with Gabriel, I am back to work. It is hard not getting to see him all of the time. He is sleeping quite a bit so I am missing most of his awake moments. We timed him over break, he is awake for only 4-6 hours a day. It stinks missing a moment of that time.
Gabe was able to take two weeks off as well so we got to see each other. His working 3rd shift is pretty hard. We see each other in passing. He is trying to get back use to the whole midnight thing.
Gabriel is such a happy little man. He is always smiling and laughing, even in his sleep. I could hear him over the monitor last night laughing. I went to see what he was up to. He must have been having a very happy baby dream because he was sound to sleep laughing.
Everything is going pretty good around here. We are just taking things one day at a time.

The holidays

We had a very busy holiday season. We went to Lansing to have Christmas with my side of the family. Gabriel got to meet his Uncle Nick for the first time. Uncle Nick even came to our house for a few days to have a little more time with us. It was sure wonderful to see him!

We spent Christmas day at Gabe's parents house.

New Years we were going to go to Lansing to spend it with a childhood friend of mine but Gabriel was so tired out from all the excitement the week before we decided it was best if we did not make the two hour drive down.

Gabriel has been doing pretty well. He is a strong little man. We took his feeding tube out as often as we dared over break so that there was time to let his little nose heal. He is showing signs of weakness and not eating very well without the tube. We want him to be as healthy as possible but we also want him to not hurt (the tube gets moisture under the tape which causes sores under his nose). Gabriel has been sleeping a lot lately. With all of the excitement of the holidays he has slept so much. He is at full force when he is awake.

Gabriel has learned to flip from his back to his front. He started doing this at about two months but stopped doing it. He is now doing it anytime he is set down. He does not mind being on his stomach until he is too weak to hold his head up then he cries until he is flipped back over. He has yet to flip over in the middle of the night, thank goodness. Today he flipped from his back to his front which was extra exciting!

Gabriel is full of giggles. He loves his massage time and laughs though it. He also loves his kisses from his daddy. He laughs so hard! It is beyond cute. I have uploaded a video of Gabe and Gabriel during kiss time. I hope it works and that you enjoy it. I am not sure how it will turn up. We got a video camera for Christmas and have not quite mastered it, so we will see.